Active Listening
By Julie Douglas, Family Program Specialist
Huddled at a table in the coffee shop in Dun Laoghaire, he with his copy of the Irish Independent and she with a book, the pair created such a cozy picture that I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. As they finished their breakfast, a conversation began. I could only catch bits and pieces (not for lack of trying!), but their body language spoke volumes. This was a dad and young daughter who were no strangers to talking about literature. Did I mention the little girl was about 4 years old?
The conversation went something like this:
“What are you reading there?” asked Dad.
“It’s the one about the bunnies. I read it a lot,” she said.
“Hmm. You must like it then. Tell me about it.”
The little girl held the colorful book up for her dad to see and pointed to rabbit. She introduced the characters on the page and broke into giggles. Dad listened intently, nodding and coaxing his child with questions. The little girl was animated as she retold part of the story; Dad was a perfect audience. For a few moments the pair was completely oblivious to the rest of the diners (including the goofy American who kept watching them, thank goodness!) They went on to discuss the plans for the rest of their morning. Soon, the newspaper and book were scooped up and they were out the door.
Was this encounter uniquely Irish? Not at all, although I did witness several other conversations between adults and very young children during my trip. In each case, respect and genuine listening on the part of the adult was apparent. These encounters reminded me (even on vacation) of the important role of family reading and conversation in the development of a child.
The Coffee Shop Dad did some amazing things during their chat. He expressed interest in what his daughter was “reading.” He used open-ended questions that gave the little one a chance to express her thoughts beyond a simple yes or no answer. He was an active listener, paraphrasing what his daughter said to demonstrate that he understood her. And, at some point in their hectic morning, he must have encouraged her to bring a book along.
As we begin our new Read First! initiative in ten Missouri communities, the focus will be on creating places where reading to young children is highly valued and amply supported. How long will it take, you might ask. Another experience in Ireland reminds that progress can seem slow, but perseverance is a virtue. As we rode a bus around Dublin one day, the driver pointed out the Monument of Light. He jokingly remarked that the Millennium Spire, as it is sometimes called, was intended to be completed in time for the millennium celebration but was finished some three years later. “It wasn’t a big deal,” he told us. “We’re used to being patient here. You have to be persistent and just keep working towards the goal.”
Good advice for any endeavor!
